As cannabis becomes more widely accepted and legally accessible, the question is no longer if you should talk to your kids about it — it’s how and when.
Kids are smart, curious, and exposed to more than we sometimes realize. That’s why it’s critical to create space for open, honest conversations that prevent misinformation, promote safety, and foster trust. Call it the “weed talk.”
Danielle Wildstein, Blue Oak’s founder and owner — and a parent of three — hears it all the time: “‘Woah, what do you tell your kids?’”
Her answer? “I tell my kids that I sell adult plant-based medicine and that you have to be 21 years old to buy or use it because that’s the law.”
Keep reading to learn how to talk to your kids about cannabis. We break it down by age, development, and approach.
Why it’s important to talk about cannabis
Cannabis is no longer a taboo subject in many households.
It’s legal in much of the country, increasingly normalized in media, and, for some parents, part of everyday life.
That’s exactly why talking to kids about cannabis is better done early, honestly, and from a place of trust.
Danielle is upfront about what’s at stake: “In my experience, you don’t keep your kids safe by keeping them in the dark and hiding things from them.”
For her, safety starts with openness, not fear or shame.
“Kids are going to consume cannabis – and when I say cannabis I generally mean cannabis that contains THC which is the psychoactive cannabinoid – whether it’s legal or not,” she said. “What you need to do is make sure that when they’re hanging out with their friends, they’re not getting street weed, or from strangers or places like gas stations. Because what they’re likely getting isn’t tested or regulated, possibly not even cannabis, and can also contain substances other than quality, tested cannabis, which can be dangerous.”
Both Danielle and Sarah Nodes, marketing and social media manager at Blue Oak and also a parent and medical cannabis patient, said that avoiding the subject doesn’t protect children.
Not educating your kids on cannabis leaves them vulnerable to misinformation from peers, social media, or unsafe sources.
When and how to start the conversation
There’s no single right age to start talking to your kids about cannabis, but there are plenty of right moments.
These moments often come up naturally: when kids see someone vaping, ask about something they overheard, or start becoming more aware of what adults do.
Rather than waiting for a crisis or a big sit-down moment, these are opportunities to build trust, help your kids develop informed decision-making skills, and set the foundation for open, judgment-free communication — about cannabis and so much more.
Danielle emphasized how important it is to tune into your children’s maturity level and “meet them where they’re at.”
She also added that cannabis education for children doesn’t mean promoting it to kids. Creating awareness and providing education doesn’t mean giving permission or access. It means giving them the tools to understand the world they’re growing up in.
“My nine-year-old is much more mature than my 11-year-old with certain subjects so my conversations are led by what each of my children can handle at that time,” she said. “But I also know the social situations that they’re going to go into. They’re vaping tobacco in middle school and talking about cannabis in a very curious, misinformed way.”
Because of this, Danielle said parents shouldn’t wait too long. “Have the conversation when it’s age-appropriate,” she said, “but not so late your children kind of find out on their own.”
Sarah agreed: “My most curious kid is actually my 4-year-old,” she shared. “She [now] knows what the not-for-children symbol means on regulated cannabis packaging. If she sees it on something, she’ll point to it and say, “not for kids”.’”
Age-appropriate conversations
Establishing safety and boundaries early
When kids are young, the conversation isn’t necessarily about cannabis itself, but about safety and clear boundaries around all substances.
For younger children, this means starting early with simple rules. These include never taking anything from anyone but a trusted adult, not touching unknown substances, not putting unknown objects in their mouth, and understanding that some things can be harmful.
Setting these boundaries early protects children and lays the groundwork for open conversations later on, when curiosity or questions arise.
Danielle and Sarah also stressed responsible cannabis storage as a key part of safety.
“If you are going to have cannabis in your home,” Danielle said, “you need to store it responsibly — no differently than alcohol, no differently than prescription or over-the-counter medication. Use a lockbox or lockable safe to store your cannabis products in, and keep those out of sight from children. The same goes when traveling with cannabis — use a lockable pouch so that 21+ items don’t get into a younger person’s hands.”
Childproof containers and keeping cannabis products out of reach are practical ways to prevent accidental exposure and reinforce safety.
Introducing basic information when curiosity arises
As children get older, it’s important to address their curiosity openly and simply, providing clear facts to correct any misinformation.
A straightforward explanation about what cannabis is and that it’s legal for 21+ adults only — the key phrase here is “adults only” — helps frame the conversation honestly.
“If I were to say, “Don’t worry about it”, or ignore it, or try to placate them, they’re going to want to keep searching for the information”, said Danielle. “My 11-year-old, who has ADHD, will look for the answers himself, and I think that that’s what a lot of kids in this day and age do because it’s so easy to find information. Unfortunately, depending on the source, that can lead to all sorts of misinformation that they believe.”
“Everyone uses cannabis for different effects,” Danielle added. “It’s about being open with information — if your children were to have questions, answer them directly. That’s our approach, it’s something that I’m very open about with parents in my community, and in the Blue Oak community we live in.”
Navigating peer pressure, media exposure, and the internet
Tweens and teens are exposed to an onslaught of messages about cannabis from classmates, social media, and entertainment.
This is a critical time to discuss what they might hear or see and encourage them to think critically about the information they receive.
Emphasize to your kids that just because they read something online doesn’t make it true, and just because your friends say it’s fine doesn’t mean it is.
Provide accurate information about cannabis and its effects to counter misinformation.
“I’ve had conversations with my kids about the difference between vaping that they see, like on the street, and what I’m taking, which is medicinal with a prescription from a store that’s high-quality,” Sarah said.
Tell your children that they can always come to you with questions or concerns, and that you’ll provide a judgment-free zone for doing so.
“I know that my children will eventually be in social situations where cannabis is around them and they might be curious to try,” Danielle said. “I want my children to know that I’m a safe space for their questions. I will continue to emphasize that saying no to anything and walking away is always a choice they have, one that gives them the power to protect themselves. I want to help give my children the tools to advocate for themselves and not give into peer pressure.”
Engaging in honest and comprehensive discussions
Generally, during teenage or high school years, you can share your values and be clear about your expectations for your kids and around substance use.
This is also a great time to reinforce those critical thinking and decision-making skills.
“I have a mindset of educating and talking about it,” Danielle said. “You keep children safe by giving them information.”
When parents with older children ask for help discussing cannabis with their kids, Danielle is always willing to assist.
“I help them think about how to have those direct conversations around what cannabis is, and that there are safe and unsafe cannabis products out there and the effects can be harmful for those under the age of 21,” she said. “It’s having those conversations so that you feel like they’re getting credible information to make better decisions.”
Addressing common questions
Isn’t cannabis natural?
This is a question kids might ask, and it’s an important one to unpack.
As Danielle shared, just because something is natural doesn’t mean it’s good for kids. She explained to her 11-year-old that the age restriction isn’t arbitrary.
“It’s based on medical studies and the formation of your brain,” Danielle said. “If you take it when you’re younger, and you don’t take it under a doctor’s guidance, it can negatively impact the way that you develop.”
“I told my kids that I sell adult plant-based medicine that’s regulated and tested for quality, and that you have to be 21 years old because that’s the law,” she added.
So yes, cannabis is plant-based, but that doesn’t mean it’s harmless, especially for children and teens whose brains are still developing.
It’s legal now, so it’s okay, right?
Both Danielle and Sarah emphasized that legalization doesn’t mean it’s safe for everyone.
Danielle also stressed the importance of setting clear boundaries and modeling expectations when talking to your kids.
Danielle has told her kids plainly, “It’s legal for adults 21 and up, just like alcohol.”
Legalization simply means that adults can access quality-tested cannabis through regulated channels. It’s not a blanket statement that, in the recreational market, it’s safe or healthy for those under 21 years of age.
Did you ever use cannabis?
This is a common question, and how you answer may depend on your own comfort level and values, but being honest can help build trust.
Sarah is very open about her own experience when speaking with her kids.
“I’ve been using cannabis since before my kids,” she said. “I’m a daily user. I have a medical card.”
Sarah talks with her kids about how cannabis helps her manage anxiety, depression, and ADHD.
She shares this all with her children as part of broader conversations about health and self-care.
Danielle focuses on being open and clear with her kids about adult use without glamorizing or encouraging it.
She talks about growing up with a mom who had very direct conversations with her and her siblings about the pressures to try things when in social situations and what they could do to keep themselves safe and make appropriate decisions. Danielle raises her children the same way.
Tips for effective communication
Talking with kids about cannabis can feel daunting. These tips can help you approach the conversation with clarity, honesty, and mutual respect.
- Lead with curiosity, not judgment. Ask open-ended questions to gauge your kids’ knowledge and feelings before jumping straight into the conversation.
- Be honest and age-appropriate. Use clear, truthful language based on your child’s maturity. Both Danielle and Sarah emphasized being direct. Danielle has explained things like brain development to her 9- and 11-year-olds, while Sarah has introduced adult-only symbols and boundaries to her 4-year-old.
- Model the behavior you want to see. If you consume cannabis, explain why, and also explain how you do so responsibly. Sarah said that she’s open with her kids about her medical use for her mental health.
- Avoid scare tactics. Danielle is critical of the general “say no to drugs” messaging and would love to see it adjusted because it lumps cannabis in with illegal substances and “fuels the stigma that cannabis is bad for all.” Danielle feels strongly that if cannabis is going to be part of that messaging, so should prescription and over-the-counter medications. She and Sarah both said that honest, science and research based education that respects kids’ intelligence and addresses curiosities is the better approach.
- Keep it a conversation, not a lecture. Ongoing casual check-ins work better than one big talk. They help normalize open communication around so many things, including (and beyond) cannabis.
- Acknowledge your child’s autonomy. Especially with teens, focus less on laying down the law and more on helping them make informed decisions and staying safe. Framing the conversation around their ability to make wise, safe choices respects their independence while reinforcing your values.
- Stay calm, even if you’re surprised. If your child says they’re curious or has tried cannabis, how you respond matters. Reacting with anger or fear can shut down future conversations. Staying calm keeps the door open for more trust and transparency in the future.
Resources for parents
Whether you’re looking to start the conversation or deepen your understanding, these trusted resources offer practical tools, facts, and support to help you navigate cannabis-related topics with your child.
- Youth Now – Parent Resources: Tools and guidance for talking to your child about cannabis and other substances.
- California Department of Public Health – Parent Toolkit: A comprehensive guide for parents on health effects and communication tips.
- New York Office of Addiction Services and Supports – Cannabis Toolkit for Parents and Mentors: Designed to help adults support teens in making safe, informed choices.
- Here to Help BC – Cannabis Use and Youth: A Parent’s Guide: Offers education and strategies for open, respectful conversations.
- National Institute on Drug Abuse – Resources for Parents and Educators: Evidence-based facts on cannabis and other drugs to encourage critical thinking.
Empower your child with knowledge and support
Talking to your child about cannabis doesn’t have to be a one-time, high-pressure conversation.
When you lead with honesty, curiosity, and age-appropriate information, you develop trust and help your child feel empowered to make thoughtful decisions — even in complex social situations.
If you have questions or want help preparing for these conversations, Blue Oak is here for you.
Explore our website to learn more, or visit us in Bloomfield and talk to our team about how to start the conversation in your home.
